two, two, two-ty two

I had to blog about this because it made me laugh so much. I ordered our prescriptions this morning on the online site and was writing on a piece of paper what I had ordered and today's date so I could write it in my diary when the pills would be ready.

Today's date? 2/2/22.

Two, two, two-ty two!

Shame it wasn't Two-sday! Two-sday, two, two, two-ty two!

what to do when your computer won't work properly

There aren't many things in the news these days that make me burst out laughing but there was this morning. I was reading the BBC news website and came upon the headline "Enraged US man shoots his malfunctioning computer". Pardon? Say that again? "Enraged US man shoots his malfunctioning computer". Okay, tell me more.

A man in the US city of Colorado Springs faces police action after becoming so frustrated with his computer that he took it outside and shot it eight times, police say.

"He was having technology problems, so he took it to the back alley and destroyed it," a police spokesman said.

Lucas Hinch was briefly detained for discharging a firearm within the city.

He did not realise he was breaking the law when he went "Wild West" on his machine, local media reported.

A judge is due to decide what penalty he will receive.

"He got tired of fighting with his computer for the last several months," police spokesman Jeff Strossner told the Colorado Springs Gazette.

The paper said that Mr Hinch "shot the darn thing" when ctrl+alt+delete - the traditional method used to re-boot computers - "consistently did not work" on Monday evening.

"He was able to wreak the kind of revenge most of us only dream about," the paper said.

"The computer is not expected to recover."

Taken from the BBC website here.

100 ways to hide your stash

I saw this today and actually laughed out loud at some of the places used! Enjoy!

tartan doors?

A while ago I got a surprise parcel from my friend Freda. I took my time thinking about what I could send to her as a thank you and finally got my act together last week. Freda's told me she's received it - and she loves it all - so I can show now what I sent to her.

A shopping bag (made by me, of course) with birds on the outside - very approriate considering it all started with me admiring some birdy fabric on Freda's blog.

I also sent her some fat quarters which I thought would be appropriate coming from Scotland.

2 tartan ones - Royal Stuart (red) and Black Watch (green) which, again isn't showing up well in the photo. I thought she might be able to use some of those to make doors for her latest project - a small village.

I also included a version of the UK flag in fun colours and a hand print one which I thought was quite appropriate for a friend across the pond - hands across the ocean and all that. As I said, Freda is very happy with everything I sent her which makes me happy too. :o)

Next, I got a bit of a shock when I switched on my computer this morning. According to my yahoo messenger, I had 1147 e-mails to read. Yikes!

I actually had 3 e-mails in my inbox. I was very relieved! LOL

And last but not least, for Debbie. Happy 34th birthday!

13 photos worth!

Well, finally, here's the post with some photos of our weekend away. I've tried to limit myself to only a few but there are still 13 of them. I know how looking at other people's holiday photos can be snoringly boring so feel free to ignore and move on. :oD

Okay, let's start with our room in our B&B - The Hill on the Wall. To say it was a fabulous place is an understatement.

A window seat!! I want one so much!

And this is the view from our room window. Couldn't you just sit and look at this view all year long? I could!

Next, here are some of the places we visited.

Carlisle Castle:

Carlisle Cathedral:

Lanercost Priory:

And Hadrian's Wall:

I don't know who this fool is - actually I do. He's my driver! :oD

Here's the loot I bought. You didn't think I wouldn't buy fabric when I was away, did you?? :oD

And there always have to be a funny photo - other than the one above of my driver! I'm not sure if this dog got up on the chair by himself or not but he was sitting on it quite happily waiting for his owner to come out of the barber's behind. (The man on the left was just another numpty like me taking a photo of a cute dog!)

The weather was glorious every day we were away. If only I could say the same today! It's bucketing rain right now with thunder forecast for through the night. Oh joy!

ageisms

Happy 2014 to you all! :o)

Here are some more things I found on my computer. I found myself agreeing with most all of them! :oD

1. You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.

2. Of course I'm in shape. Isn't Round a shape?

3. There’s only one thing worse than an old fogey - a young fogey.

4. I have found, at my age, going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of my face.

5. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

6. You know your getting older when - your get up and go has got up and went.

7. Growing old is mandatory - acting old is optional!

8. The older I get, the better I was!

9. You're getting old when your wife gives up sex for Lent, and you don't know till the 4th of July.

10. At my age, "getting a little action" means I don't need to take a laxative.

11. H lp! S m b d st l ll th v w ls fr m m k yb rd!

12. The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.

13. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

14. I cna ytpe 300 wrods pre mniuet!!!

I also found this pic which made me snort with laughter! I'm subtitling it "Douglas's New Year's Resolution"! :oD

a few sillies to end the year

For my last post of 2013, I thought I'd show you a few silly photos. The first two show what Molly got for her Christmas. To say she loves both of them is the understatement of the year!

Joanna gave her some lips complete with tongue and teeth:

We gave her a penguin complete with Santa hat. She was a wee bitty tired when I took this photo - all that chewing had exhausted her - but she still kept her paw on the penguin in case someone decided to steal it! :oD

And this was how our countdown to Christmas blocks looked on Boxing Day.

I'm still not sure if the number is right but it's close enough! :oD

So that's it. The end of another year. About to start a new one. Let's hope it's a great one!

All I need to know about life I learned from a snowman

I was tidying my computer today and found a few things that I thought I'd like to keep ... but not on the computer. It occurred to me I could put them on here and then I'd still have them but they wouldn't be taking up room on my computer. This one is quite appropriate for the shortest day of the year - even if we don't have any snow!

All I Need to Know about Life I Learned From a Snowman 

* It's okay if you're a little bottom heavy.

* Hold your ground, even when the heat is on.

* Wearing white is always appropriate.

* Winter is the best of the four seasons.

* It takes a few extra rolls to make a good midsection.

* There's nothing better than a foul weather friend.

* The key to life is to be a jolly, happy soul.

* It's not the size of the carrot, but the placement that counts.

* We're all made up of mostly water.

* You know you've made it when they write a song about you.

* Accessorise! Accessorise! Accessorise!

* Avoid yellow snow.

* Don't get too much sun.

* It's embarrassing when you can't look down and see your feet.

* It's fun to hang out in your front yard.

* Always put your best foot forward.

* There's no stopping you once you're on a roll.

searching for a new avatar

I decided the other day that I wanted to change my avatar for my blog to a photo of myself instead of the wee tartan bee. Of course, I didn't have a photo of myself in my iPhoto because, let's face it, who takes photos of themselves? Not me!

So, I decided to ask my loving family to send me any *decent* photos of me to maybe use as an avatar. I would be able to crop out background stuff so I was hopeful that they would have something I could use. Let me show you what they sent me.

My hair isn't this colour any more.

How many double chins do I have in this one????

I have no idea what that is in front of my face ... but it's probably just as well it's there!

I look like I just ate a bug!

Wrong colour of hair and the shadow isn't helping! At least Molly looks good!

This one isn't too bad but what about the expression on Douglas's face?

Was I caught mid-word or something?

I love the expression on Joanna's face!

This one is actually okay. I very nearly used it.

I liked this one too but my hair wasn't quite sticky-uppy enough!

This one was taken yesteday. I just rejected it because it looks like I've got a lamp growing out of my head. The teddy bear in my spex looks completely normal!

And finally, the one I chose.

I might look daft in most of these photos but the best thing is, so do they! Gotcha back! Hahahaha! :oD

a few things I made this week

Here are a few things that I made this week. First of the cake variety - our Christmas cake.

The recipe said it would take 4½ to 4¾ hours but it actually took 6½ hours before I was happy that it was cooked. It's a good thing I started it before lunchtime! I've made a note on the recipe to maybe turn the oven up a wee bit - or at least be aware that it took that long! Douglas was quite disappointed that he'd have to wait until Christmas day to eat it!

My next finish was the skirt for part of my mum's Christmas.

As expected, the sewing of the jersey fabric was not the most fun I've ever had with a sewing machine & overlocker so I decided not to add the stretchy lining to the skirt. My mum always wears an underskirt so I don't think it'll matter too much.

I didn't waste the 15cm/6" strip of fabric that was left over. I made it into a wee scarf to go with her skirt. Two presents for the price of one! Not too shabby!

My next finishes are two more skirts that I took in for Joanna. One was easy enough as the zip was at the back.

But this one had a side zip so that had to come out and get replaced.

My fingers are tightly crossed that they fit her now!

Finally, here's something that made me smile this week. So far, I haven't received any underwear from Santa. Says it all really! :oD

a sunny day!

It was warm and sunny here today which is a miracle. This summer has been awful so far so, when the opportunity comes to sit outside in the sun for a wee while, I'm grabbing it with both hands. So, instead of watching the Olympics or quilting the Christmas hanging or cleaning or doing any of that other indoor stuff, I unashamedly sat outside on the deck with my Kindle and read ... in the SUNSHINE. (I'm shouting those words because we all know it's bound to be raining again tomorrow!)

I did do the quilting of the wallhanging this evening but it's too dark now to take photos now so I'll do that tomorrow ... if I remember ... and if I'm not outside reading ... in the SUNSHINE!!

I want to answer Softie's question in her comment yesterday as to what I'll be using the iPad for. Well, mostly as a computer. My "big" computer is an iMac and is on a desk in our dining room. I wanted something that I could use in the livingroom or outside or in the sewing room or wherever I fancied and I wasn't interested in a laptop. (I *hate* those trackpad mouses with a passion!) So, when I wondered out loud on Sunday how I might get on with an iPad, the ball started rolling from there.

I won't be giving up my Kindle either as it's so small and easily transportable when I have to go to the doctor's or the dentist and have to wait in their waiting rooms. My Kindle fits nicely into my handbag but my iPad wouldn't do that. I could, of course, make myself a bag big enough to take it but, in the meantime, I'll just stick with the Kindle.

Of course, if I'm being honest, I'll no doubt be playing a few games on my iPad as well. I'm getting quite good at one called "Compression". I'm rubbish at one called "Cubilus" though. Really, really rubbish. Oh well, can't win them all.

Okay, so that I don't post a post without a photo, here's something from my miscellaneous Photobucket album which makes me laugh out loud every time I see it. I'm sure it could apply to yarn or any other crafty things. :oD

drat, drat and double drat

Well, as I posted the other day, the body of the blouse fitted really well but ... Yep, you've guessed it. When I put the sleeves in, they were too tight and it just made the whole blouse unwearable.

The pattern gave a size chart for biceps and the "average" arm would finish at 17". I measured my biceps - over the top of my cardigan so, therefore, I was actually adding size to my arms - and they measured 15". So, you'd think that at least 2" would be fine as movement space. Wouldn't you? Apparently not.

So, I unpicked the sleeves, added bits in the the front and back of them to make them wider, lowered the armhole on the body section and re-attached them. They do fit better but I thought I'd like them to be a wee bitty wider still so I spent this afternoon messing with the sleeve pattern, consulting various books and articles as to how to add more ease in. I copied the pattern, slashed it open, re-aligned bits, re-positioned other bits and really thought I'd cracked it.

But. You knew there was a "but" coming, didn't you? And I bet you know what I'm going to say next, don't you? Yep. It didn't work. When I went to pin the new sleeve into the blouse, it was now too big and it won't fit the gap. It matches above the notches but there's far too much fabric below the notches. *sigh*

I walked away from it this afternoon but I'm determined I'm not going to let this beat me. I really want to get back into sewing my own clothes so I need to be able to make sleeves that fit me. I WILL get this right. I will. I will. I will!!!

Okay, enough of that. Here's something that always makes me laugh. I suspect that after the battles I'm having with sleeves, I might well be the one in four!!

what does love mean?

I couldn't think what to blog about so went rooting through my "various bits" folder and found this one. I probably could keep it for Valentine's Day but love is good any day of the year. :o)

* * * * * * * *
A group of professional people posed the question "What does love mean?" to a group of 4 - 8 year-olds. Here are some of the answers.

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore, so my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
Rebecca, age 8

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
Karl, age 5

"Love is when you go out to eat and you give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
Chrissy, age 6

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
Terri, age 4

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him to make sure the taste is OK."
Danny, age 7

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then, when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My mommy and daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss."
Emily, age 8

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
Bobby, age 7

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate."
Nikka, age 6

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, and then he wears it everyday."
Noelle, age 7

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."
Tommy, age 6

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me, and I saw my daddy waving and
smiling at me. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."
Cindy, age 8

"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."
Clare, age 6

"Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken."
Elaine, age 5

"Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."
Chris, age 7

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."
Mary Ann, age 4

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."
Lauren, age 4

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you."
Karen, age 7

"Love is when mommy sees daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross."
Mark, age 6

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot, 'cause people forget."
Jessica, age 8


AND . . . . Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy replied, "Nothing. I just helped him cry."

old dogs

This is another snippet taken from the pccrafter newsletter. This one made me giggle. :oD

: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :

One day the old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old German Shepherd thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the old German Shepherd exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder, if there are any more around here?"

Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!" says the leopard, "That was close! That old German Shepherd nearly had me!"

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes, but the old German Shepherd sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up.

The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"

Now, the old German Shepherd sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old German Shepherd says, "Where's that stupid monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"

Moral of this story...

Don't mess with the old dogs...age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery! Brilliance only comes with age and experience.

Santa's a Scotman!

Douglas just showed me this on youtube. It's kind of quirky but fun!

a couple of numpties!

This morning we got up, had breakfast then I headed out to pick up Jo to go to Tesco's. She'd told me yesterday not to peep the horn - she'd watch for me at the window. She didn't want to upset her new neighbours with me peeping my horn first thing on a Sunday morning!

Anyway, I get to her house and her bedroom curtains are closed - no sign of her watching out the window for me. I pulled the car in to the side of the road, got out and went to ring her bell. No reply.

I rang again and, thinking she had slept in and couldn't hear me, I got out my keys and tried them in the lock. Her keys were in the other side so I couldn't get mine to work.

I then heard the inside door being opened so I knocked on the door and made funny faces at the peephole in the door.

Imagine my surprise when Jo came to the door in her jammies and she asked me what I was doing there. She then told me it was just after 8 in the morning - not after 9 like I thought it was.

Yep - we had forgotten to put our clocks back!

Telling Jo I'd be back later, I headed home. I told Douglas that I would go back for Jo in an hour - when it was *really* 9 o'clock. It took him a few seconds to realise what we'd done!

Honestly what a couple of numpties! LOL

this made me giggle

I found this online the other day and it really made me laugh.



Be afraid, be very afraid! LOL

On other news, Joanna is still here. Her new bed arrives tomorrow and she's getting the plumber in on Thursday morning to check the boiler and to turn on the water. So Friday is the day we think she'll move into her new home. It'll take her a while to unpack all those boxes but that's a game she has to play herself - well, that's what I keep telling her anyway! :oD

keep calm and carry on

As you saw from yesterday's post, I bought a wee book called "Keep Calm and Carry On". Its subtitle is "Good Advice for Hard Times". It's just full of little ditties and sayings meant to help us keep calm in the world we're living in today.

I haven't read through them all yet but one of my favourites so far is assigned to Jean Kerr. (I have no idea who Jean Kerr is. I wonder if she's famous somewhere and if it's only me who is unaware of her famousness? Probably!) Anyway, here's her ditty -

"If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation."

And this one reminds me of when we were about to venture into the new century. Do you remember all the warnings that computers would stop working at the stroke of midnight Dec 31, 1999 - Jan 1, 2000? Don't fly or try to move your money online just in case life as we know it comes to an end? All seems a bit daft now - mind you, it seemed daft to me at the time as well. This ditty sort of says it all.

"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia."

It's assigned to Charles M Schulz - Snoopy's dad! :oD

advice from kids

This is from my "various" folder. There are tons more where this came from! :oD

Advice from kids.

Never trust a dog to watch your food.

When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?' Don't answer.

Never tell your Mom her diet's not working.

Stay away from prunes.

Don't pull Dad's finger when he tells you to.

When your Mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.

Never let your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment.

A puppy always has bad breath--even after eating a Tic-Tac.

Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.

You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.

Felt-tip markers are not good to use as lipstick.

Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat.

When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your Mom when she's on the phone.

Albert and the Lion

Douglas and I were talking this morning about the poem/monologue "Albert and the Lion". I think there had been mention of it on the radio - we don't usually have random conversations about stuff. Actually, that's a fib - we often have random conversations about a whole lot of stuff! LOL

Anyway, I wondered if there would be a copy of it on youtube and, sure enough, there it was. Stanley Holloway in all his glory. Enjoy!

I hope my friends from over the pond understand the accent! :o)