Tuesday, 5 May 2015

the last thing on my mind

I just wanted to let you all know why there's not much blogging going on around these parts lately. My mum was taken into hospital 3 weeks ago having had a slight heart attack. As you can imagine, it was a scary time but 4 days later, mum was back in her care home looking not much worse for the experience.

That was a Thursday. Two days later on the Saturday, she was taken back to the hospital again having had another "cardiac event". They kept her longer this time - 5 days instead of 4!

For about a week, she seemed to be improving but last Thursday, I just didn't like the look of her. I don't know why I thought it but just felt there was something not quite right. Sure enough, that afternoon I got a phone call from the home to tell me she had a chest infection but that she wasn't in pain and was quite content in herself.

I was back in to see her on Sunday morning with Joanna and I remember saying to Joanna as we drove home, "Granny's not well". At lunchtime, the nurse from the home phoned to say that they'd got the ambulance back to take her to the hospital again. Her oxygen levels were low and her blood pressure was way down. It turns out she now has pneumonia. Her breathing is awful. She isn't swallowing and so is on intravenous fluids and antibiotics and heaven knows what else. I have cried every single time I have come out of visiting because I am so scared of what mum is going through.

I was just putting my coat on this afternoon to go to visit her when my Auntie (mum's sister) phoned me for her monthly update on mum. She and I spoke (and cried) for a while and she said a few things to me that I really needed to hear. I felt a bit better after that and actually didn't cry coming out of the hospital this afternoon. (Needless to say, I'm crying as I type this but that's just me. A crier and not in the least ashamed of it!)

It's so hard to deal with my head right now. I want mum to get better - obviously - but, I don't want her to be in pain or uncomfortable. I want what's best for mum and, at the moment, I just don't know what that is. :o(

Anyway, that's why I'm not here much. Blogging is the last thing on my mind at the moment.

10 comments:

  1. There is nothing wrong with crying Anne. I am so so sorry though that you and your Mum are having to go through this. So very sad for you and difficult too. I wish that I could do more, but I am sending you all of the very best of thoughts and to your Mum as well. It sounds as though she is getting good care and I know that you will be giving her all of your love too and your Mum will know that. So all good thoughts and massive hugs and a big tissue in case you need to shed a tear. Love to you. Amy xxxx

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  2. So sorry to hear about your Mom, hope she gets better. It's so hard when our parents get old and ill. We want them to get better, but we don't want them to suffer. Prayers for you and your Mom.

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  3. Prayers for you and your Mom. It's a difficult time for you, I know, having been through it with my parents.

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  4. I'm sorry, Anne. You, your mum and the whole family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

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  5. It's so hard to know what to say so I'll just say that I'm thinking of you and your Mum.

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  6. I don't know what to write but just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and your Mum. Big hugs. x

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  7. What a tough time you're going through, it's no wonder you're working your way through the box of Kleenex. It sounds as though you're mum's in a good care home which keeps an eye on her and knows when she needs medical assistance. She's in the best place for her at the moment though, she'll be getting the care she needs in hospital. It's hard seeing our parents age and go through one thing and then another, it's a bit of a role reversal and not easy to cope with sometimes. Sending you lots of hugs. xx

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  8. So, so sorry to read that your mum is not well, and sending you all lots of love, prayers and positive thoughts for your mum's good recovery. It is hard to see a loved one unwell, but crying usually helps heal the soul too, so you just go ahead and "greet". Take care of you too, hugs G xxxx

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  9. I'm very sorry to hear about your mum. It's so hard to watch someone we love when they aren't well and we can't really do anything to help.

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  10. I'm so sorry to hear your mom is unwell. It's a difficult thing to see a parent suffer. Hugs to you...

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Thanks for taking the time to comment on my blethers. I really appreciate it. I do try to reply to everyone but sometimes life just gets in the way of that happening! :o)