Friday, 2 September 2011

the hardest post

Today I posted what, to me, was the hardest post I've ever written. Oh not on my blog. On a forum where I was, until today, a community leader.

I've been on that forum for over 7 years and became a CL very early in my forum life. I led boards where we just blethered - I'm very good at that. Boards about sewing - I'm also good at that. And boards about signature making - I'm also good at that. So, basically I was the leader on boards about things I was good at.

I made lots of friends from all over the world and even had the privilege of meeting some of them when Douglas and I went to America on 2005 and 2006. It was wonderful to meet all of them and they were exactly as they were on the boards. Full of fun and laughter.

Now, last October, this forum "upgraded" their boards. Basically they shifted them on to a new provider and to say it was not a great success is the understatement of the year. Stupid little things didn't work properly - like the board counter. Apparently 1+1 does not equal 2 any more!!

Anyone who knows me will know that I will ask questions about stuff and will keep asking the same questions over and over again until I get an answer that makes sense to me. If something's broken or not working properly I will keep asking for it to be fixed until it is fixed.

Well, a time or two (or ten) our leaders were caught out telling us lies. Did they like that this was pointed out to them? No they did not. Did they like that we kept asking the same things over and over and would not give up because we wanted replies? No they did not.

So last night I got a really long e-mail from one of the "top dogs" basically telling me to stop asking questions all the time or leave. If I didn't do this she'd take away my leader status.

HA! I got in this morning and resigned.

I know it will take me a while to get over not being a CL any more but I'll get used to it. I have other things in my life that can easily fill that forum's gap - sewing, knitting, crochet, baking, swimming etc etc In the meantime, I'm going to allow myself to be a wee bit sad at the passing of an era. But not for too long.

I realise this post will mean very little to most of the people who read my blog but I needed to post it for my own benefit. Thanks for bearing with me. I'll be back with more "normal" stuff later. :o)


  1. They'll soon realise what a mistake they've made. Nobody blethers quite like you!

    And as the saying goes 'Being stupid is not ASKING a question. Being stupid is NOT asking a question'.

    B x

  2. Anne. I am sad with you. I am sad because since the VERY FIRST day I started making were there. You made one of MY first sigs ever on the boards. All of us girls love and respect you. I thank goodness you have this blog, so that I can still "see" you. Know I am having a tea and sharing a tear with you. <3 Kelly

  3. Thanks so much for being here for us Anne. I will stalk you here on your blog now. You were the only reason I really went to IV anymore. E-mail me any time you want to see new pics of Dakota

  4. Anne, You have always been an inspiration to me, and have always been there to help me with sigs when I needed it. I have "known" you for a little over 4 years now. Daniel was only 6 months old, and Joshua was in preschool. Now they are preschool and 4th grade! There has been a LOT of blethering in those years, and I hate that this happened the way it did! I will for sure be "stalking" you here now, as I know you won't join facebook. ;) Sending you lots of love!
    Debbie aka joshndansmom

  5. I also wanted to add:
    THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING! In case you haven't heard it lately, YOU ROCK! ♥♥

  6. Anne, I was appalled when I saw that you were stepping down and know you would never make such a decision lightly. While I am disgusted you received such an email, I am not completely surprised considering the source. One day I was completely blindsided by a similar call from the same person. Pushing you to this decision is about as smart as the infamous "upgrade". Your absence will be sorely missed. And always remember............ANNE YOU ROCK!!!
    Lisa (clabk)

  7. Like many of the other girls, I too am very sad by your leaving but I understand it. I think those of us who have stuck out the "upgrade" will all agree that it was not for the better. You were the staple and now you're gone. They will sorely realize what they've done. Too bad they can't get themselves off this pedistool their on to realize the grave errors they've made.
    I too am greatful that I can still have my "Anne" fix through your blog. It won't be the same but I am greatful for all you have done as CL. Thanks for all you have done for me and everyone else. You are a wonderful wonderful person! <3 you!!

  8. from Sweetrose...
    I am saddened, too Anne that you are leaving.
    Thanks with appreciation for everything, etc.
    Nice to have known you. I will visit you here then and say hello. Take care and the best for you.

  9. You should post what "top dog" it was. We all know it was Donna.

    Donna is the reason, the SOLE reason I quit my job as a CM and stopped being a CL, that website needs to pull its head out of its rear and fire her. The place could heal if they'd remove the malignant tumor.

    Best part of saying this here? She can't do squat about it. Take that. ;)Not that I care if she bans me from the site... ooooh big threat. NOT.

  10. Donna sucks. (Hi Donna! YOU SUCK!) She is dishonest, stupid, inept, and generally sucks at life. How she's kept that job as long as she has is beyond me. Well it's due in no small part to the fact that she runs off everyone that gets wise to her. It's disgraceful.

    I'm sorry to see you go, Anne. It's definitely their loss.

    P.S. My favorite siggy ever is still the "All I want for Chrithmath is my two front teeth" one you made me. ((Hugs))

  11. Oh, Anne, I cannot (well, actually i can) believe that they would dare email you to tell you to quit asking questions. I am so sorry that you had to leave and I just hope the people in charge wake up and realize that they are slowly killing the place that pays them to be there. Dead forum=nobody to moderate and that will lead to no more job for them. Although, if they aren't aware that 1+1=2, then this concept is way too over their heads for me to explain

    (((((hugs))))) and you will be missed by everyone that knew you

  12. Hugs, Anne. I haven't been on the boards in ages, well, since that big "downgrade", but I completely understand how hard your decision was. Although, sounds like it might have been a little easier with that email.... Still. I've been following your blog for a while now, and will continue to do so.

  13. Hi Anne,

    I went to CC tonight and found out about this. I am really saddened to see you go. You will be greatly missed as well as the others who felt the need to go. I'm going to bookmark your blog so I can look at the beautiful projects you have posted and to keep up with how life is treating you.


  14. Anne, you asked for it, so now you have me as a stalker too! You've always been a great friend and well, since I got the same letter and I don't want to dirty up your blog with what I know and think about Donna... I'll just say what a great loss you will be. I went to you for more than siggies. You were like everyone's personal IT dept, if they had questions about how to turn on a computer or write complicated code, you had answers. And you did that all as a volunteer, with kindness and a smile. I'm not going to say I'll miss you because I know where to find you! xox

  15. And this is why SO many moderators left Pregnancy & Parenting..

  16. I am so sorry you had to leave but totally understand Anne,
    You will be missed more than you know.
    It is *their* loss & they will see that as well.
    You are one of the best & you definitely ROCK!
    Will be seeing you *here* :)

  17. If you're bothered about what Donna has done to Anne and hundreds of other CLs, members and moderators you can tell the new TPTB

  18. Sadly, complaints about Donna to Jess will go straight to Donna>trash. You can contact Jodi Kahn, I'm sure she'd most appreciate it through her Twitter account:!/jodikivillage.

  19. Anne, I just want to take the time to thank you for everything you've done to help me grown in my siggy making in the past year and a half. You know when I finally knew I was getting there? When YOU nominated a sig of mine for SOTW. Sure, I'd been nominated before, but it was the ultimate YEAH! b/c you had been there from my very first (atrocious! LOL) sig. You encouraged and gave pointers. You have done this for so many and IV has no idea what they are losing by forcing you to step down. You are the epitome of what a CL should be. I'll never understand why they chose to go with the monsters over legitimate people who just want to connect. I've made some fabulous friends on SMFB and SS, and I'm sad to see it all go, but, frankly SMFB won't last without you. It just won't. No one will take the time and hard work to make it still run like you did. You had heart and soul into that forum. Shame on TPTB on IV.

    Anne, good luck and best wishes. I promise to stalk you on here, too. ;)

    Facebook is so horrible, btw. ;-)


  20. Biggest, giantest load of crap EVER. I don't blame you one bit for what you did today, Anne! Though I will miss you terribly!
    Thank you for everything! It won't be the same without you!

  21. Oh, and I think you can email Jodi Khan at if you don't use twitter. :D

  22. Anne- I am so sorry to hear this. :-( I was glad you all asked questions as I had them too but don't get on much now with Z. I hate this. They truly don't realize what this means. It will be no more. We all love you and thank you for all your support and encouragement. I'll try to stalk errr read your blog!

  23. I am another former CL who received that email and stepped down as a CL. Many who have posted here are people I have had contact with at that place, and it is fantastic to read all the comments of support and affection you are receiving. You justly deserve them, and we did not deserve to be treated as we were.


  24. Add me to the list of CL’s who received that famous letter. We were asked to be team players (to put it nicely) and in the end I think we were more of a team player then they could have ever guess! We walked out the door as a team to stand up for the rights of every CL who’s felt taken for granted.

    I did not appreciate feeling that we were verbally threatened. Imagine if we had told our board members exactly what was told to us in that e-mail! We would have been given the ax immediately, no questions asked.

    I stood up for MY team, and Anne and everyone else who walked out the door I think we did it with grace and style!----Les

  25. Oh, I forgot to say what I really wanted to say.
    The real people who are being punished are our former board members, the ones we had to leave behind without saying too much. I could see from the comments that they were just stunned at the sudden departures. ---Les

  26. I haven't been around Ivillage since January. The boards died after the change and then there was everything going on in my life, so I didn't want to deal with them anymore. I'm sorry that a place that was our Internet home for many years is being run into the ground. I'm glad that you have your blog so I can keep up with you. (((hugs)))

  27. I'm so sad that you are leaving Anne. I am still in shock at the way you were treated. This marks the end of SMFB. There's no one that can possibly fill your shoes. So I'll do what I can.. I'll hang out in your pocket and blog stalk ya! Sending tons of love and hugs!

  28. Oh and that was from me - Dina (ncmommy79)

  29. Well, gracious, Anne. I swore I had left a comment earlier today, but I was in a hurry and must have not "posted" it!

    I cannot tell you (and the others who have pulled out) how angry I am that you were pushed this far. I keep wondering if I will be the next in line to get one of their famous letters! Haven't just yet!! I would like to believe that the Donna-bitch will get her comeupance, but I don't really see it happening. At least not in my lifetime!

    I thank you, Anne, for giving me the links you did in your PM to me. You'll be seeing me from time to time I know!

    Miss you already, gal!

  30. Sounds awful Anne.

  31. Well, at least you know Donna is working on a holiday weekend. My post as parentinginabox was removed. Guess it's ok to bash a mod but not Donna?

  32. Hugs Anne,
    I am sorry that you are not a CL anymore. There is so much drama and with their fantastic "upgrade" my pg board just left and we all talk on FB. I kind of got sucked into being a CL for a new board.

  33. I hope you know that I hold you in the highest regard - you set the gold standard for CLs, and your presence will be SO missed.

    I don't even really know what to say. Losing you and the others is such a huge blow for everyone. I'm so very sorry for how it all went down - and so sad that it's come to this point.


  34. I'm so sad Anne :( I'm just now reading your goodbye post on iV! I completely understand and OMG how could they do that to you!! I am so sad and heartbroken over the fact that iV basically killed itself, and people like you and me and the other AWESOME CLs are the ones who get hurt the most!!! UGH!! I'm so upset at you leaving, yet maybe it's a sign for myself.

    I've been contemplating and arguing with myself, going back and forth, over and over about whether I should just let go and give up my "hat" alltogether. My board has been dead since the "upgrades", my "new" board has been dead since it opened. It's just painful to even visit anymore (which is rare for me!) So maybe with you stepping down, it's made me strong enough to do it myself and say goodbye to the village for awhile (ever?)

    Anyway....I will miss you very much! It just gives me a reason to check in on your blog that much more often! ;) Of course, there's always email and one of these days you will give in and join facebook! ;) LOL Or the new craze...pinterest!! hehehe <3 <3 <3 lots of big hugs!!!!

  35. Well, I was pretty sure I posted Sunday, but I guess I did something wrong.

    You are already missed all over iVillage! You have been like part of my family for over 4 years now. You taught me how to make sigs, and you made my first picture one with wittle baby Riley! (he'll be 5 in November. yikes)

    I always thought CC was a place for us to go and vent frustrations as CLs. I didn't realize we were under don't ask/don't tell stipulations. iVillage has basically died since October. It has nothing to do with Facebook (as they keep trying to compare the two), it has to do with some new software, corporate bull and they can't own up to it.

    I don't know what the email said, and I don't know why some received it while others didn't, but I am saddened by the whole thing. I'll be here stalking you on your blog, though! Maybe you can teach me a thing or two about sewing.

    <3 Dana

  36. Anne, they made a mistake with acting that way towards you. You are the best teacher I could have ever asked for, and you did this as a volunteer! You never had any issues with anything that was asked, even if it was already answered, and I love you for that. I REALLY wish you'd join facebook so we can keep up, but until then (LOL - notice, I'm not saying if, I'm going with until) I will keep up with you on here. {{{HUGS}}} Janet

  37. Anne,

    I am outraged by what happened to you and the others. My only purpose in remaining as a CL for the time being is to have access to the backstage areas to pass along the idiocy and lying that occur there. Having admitted that, it's best I remain...Anonymous. ;-)

  38. Anne,

    I'm totally late here but it looks like everything happened while I was in the hospital having Ava. I'm sad to see you go, but completely understand why you did. Thank you for all of the wonderful sigs you made me, for cheering me on while we were TTC #2, and for remaking all of my sigs when I was finally pregnant. I just posted a bunch of pictures of Ava on a request thread if you'd like to stop by and see them :) I'll be sure to check here from time to time to see how you are doing.


  39. Sweet Anne I was so surprised to log on today and see what happened. (hugs). I will be looking for your new group on cafemom as the board I made sigs on (Crumbsnatchers) is now closed.

  40. I know this is late coming, but I just checked out the board today to get this shocking bit of news. Well, if I wasn't unimpressed by that site enough, they just pushed me over the edge. You made the difference in my journey to figure out sig making, among other things. Thank you for your years of service. You deserve better than what you received.


Thanks for taking the time to comment on my blethers. I really appreciate it. I do try to reply to everyone but sometimes life just gets in the way of that happening! :o)